Blow Jobbers Nabbed at Valley Forge Park

Cruise ShipToday’s trip to Valley Forge Park proved a very eventful one as I found myself an eyewitness to a Park Service sting operation conducted at the Varnum’s Picnic Area located on Route 23.  As my readers will remember from a previous post entitled Valley Forge Park and the Blow Job Jamboree, many of the parking areas and public restrooms at the VF national historic site have become infested with the skulking scum of anonymous sex-seekers searching for blow jobs and bum-butting services.  The remains of their disgusting dalliances can be found in the woods, the parking lots, the bathrooms, and along the walking trails.

Well, it seems that the Park Service has finally decided to crack down on the cruising cocksuckers and today’s operation netted them three shiny exemplars of personal hygiene and high moral standards.  Here’s my eyewitness account of what happened at around 12:30 this Friday afternoon as I was enjoying my lunch while parked in a nice shady area listening to Rush Limbaugh.

As I nibbled my gourmet McDonald’s entrée, I noted the usual solo male activity that simply plagues this pretty picnic spot seven days a week—one vehicle after another cruising through the lot searching the parked cars and pick-up trucks looking to spot another guy all on his own.  This cruising activity is so blatant that anyone spending more than a half hour in the lot can easily figure out what’s going on.  The dead giveaways are threefold: the recurring drive-through at about 5 or 10-minute intervals to check out any potential male meat that might be lurking; the cars/pick-ups backed into parking spaces skirting the woods giving the occupants a clear view of all incoming dickheads; and the blatant parking lot walk-around or should I say strut-around to parade the unattractive corporeal mass attached to the moldering member ever ready to spring from its pants.

I watched as a red pick-up, which had cruised through the lot twice before, finally parked along the brush area bordering the woods.  With his window rolled down, this guy blatantly stared at the occupant of a flatbed truck that had backed into a space caddy-corner from his pick-up.  Initially, I thought the truck driver, who was sitting in a company vehicle with his employer’s name emblazoned on the doors and a full load of landscaping material as cargo, had just pulled in to eat his lunch before getting back on the road.  Well, he was there to eat his lunch all right, but something other than a ham sandwich was on the menu.  After sitting under the glutinous gaze of the Red Pick-Up for several minutes, the truck driver climbed out of his rig and headed down into the woods.  The Red Pick-Up then got out of his vehicle and walked away along one of the brush paths bordering the woods.

Then yet another meat seeker, who had been discreetly parked some distance away from the cruise zone, exited his high-end model car and headed for the picnic tables in the opposite direction of the path taken by the other two pervs. This see-through maneuver is a standard dodge used by these creeps to make it seem they’re just taking a little stroll and not zeroing in on their target.  After their cocksucking session, each goes their separate way making sure they arrive back at the parking lot from opposite directions.

After about a 15-minute interval, I saw a man coming up through the woods headed toward the flatbed truck.  I assumed it was its driver on the way back to work after his queer quickie in the park.  But as the man emerged from the foliage his Park Service uniform made me realize that something was up other than the putrefied penises of these trolling dirtbags.  Where the heck had this Park ranger come from??  There had been a patrol car that had cruised through the lot a couple of times before the pervs showed up but that was routine police procedure for the Valley Forge Park Guards.

So as I continued to watch, another cop/ranger emerged from the woods and then another.  All of a sudden, two patrol cars came screeching into the lot lights flashing, one parking alongside the flatbed truck, the other zooming behind the red pick-up.  About 6 to 8 rangers flooded the area, some marching down into the woods, some jotting down license plate numbers.  Finally, the flatbed truck driver came trudging up to his rig escorted by officers and holding what I assumed was a citation/summons.  Then the high-end model car meat chaser also came out of the woods and he too was carrying a summons.  Red Pick-Up was still unaccounted for when I finally gave up my vantage point and headed out for more uplifting pursuits.

The Gay Community sidesteps this lawbreaking health-hazardous behavior by claiming that it’s straight married men who do all the public cruising, not gay men.  Well, we could have a long-winded discussion about why anyone would describe a man who consistently seeks man-on-man anonymous sex as straight.   And we could ask why gay community groups and publications would bother to broadcast the locations of public cruising zones for their gay devotees if the only cocksuckers showing up for the public sex parties are the ‘straight’ ones.  But then such discussions would only confuse the problem with actual facts, and as we know, facts are verboten when addressing the foibles of America’s gay divas.

It’s quite reassuring to know that the Park Service is taking this criminal activity seriously.  But handing out citations isn’t going to effectively fix the problem.  But hey, thanks for the effort, Park Service.

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4 Responses to Blow Jobbers Nabbed at Valley Forge Park

  1. Perry Palmer says:

    I don’t know about gays who are fed up with other gays, but I turned down tickets to “Priscilla Queen of the Desert” this weekend. Wallowing in gay exploitation is their style now. Are public BJs supposed to go along with the general group love of the gays in straight society? It’s embarrassing!
    What else is embarrassing is Our Leader going to Russia and meeting with the gays there in protest of Russia’s stand on gays. It may be harsh, but it’s none of Obama’s business; he is the master of distraction.

    • The Obama craze has passed. Meeting with gays in Russia was a nice photo ob for the progressive folks back home, but I think many citizens are growing weary of the gay hype. Of course, one wonders what has happened to the Russian gays he met with–Putin doesn’t take kindly to anyone who attempts to interfere with his agenda.

  2. Cathy Smith says:

    Ah, nice to know that the Park Service is the same everywhere. Our national park in Greensboro, NC used to suffer from the same strange dating/mating rituals. I was walking through the park one day and stopped to get a drink from the water fountain. A man had just walked out of the men’s restroom, looked like he had a mouth full, went and bent over the water fountain, and washed his mouth out. The gargling sound dispelled any doubts I might have had about his escapades in the men’s room. The expression on his face when he turned to walk off and spotted me standing just a few feet away was priceless. I’m sure my expression was one of total repulsion. Needless to say, I did not get a drink of water!

    As for the citations your friendly fellows received, isn’t criminal activity of any type in a national park considered a felony?

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