Obama’s Gay Marriage Endorsement: Our 30 Pieces of Silver

Holy Hallelujah! Barack Obama, President of the United States of America, has come out in support of gay marriage! Oh ring out, ye church bells of Cafeteria Christianity! Sing loudly, ye true believers of homosexual heaven right here on earth!

Clang your pots and pans, clap your happy hands, jump for justified joy! For behold, Obama’s evolving epiphany has given us eternal legitimacy! Verily I say unto thee, now we are normal, normal I say! Cast aside any lingering doubts or fretful fears, for the Chosen One has deigned to grace the LGBTQ hodgepodge of lettered alternative lifestyle hangers-on with his guileful proclamation of politicized approval.

So in honor of this momentous non-occasion, let us celebrate with a timely outburst of semi-sacred song. For it ain’t every day that self-involved gays get to sell themselves so very dirt cheaply.

A not so Holy Hallelujah—because one silly spoof deserves another.

9 Responses to Obama’s Gay Marriage Endorsement: Our 30 Pieces of Silver

Paula says:

May 15, 2012 at 1:22 am

I have to vote for him now; he legitimized my existence! As part of the “L G B T and Q” it would be unthinkable if I didn’t vote . . . for him. So happy. In reality, he made it easier for me to DISLIKE him more, if that was possible.

- Arthur Galvin says:
  
  May 15, 2012 at 4:02 am
  
  Absolutely, Paula. I agree with you completely. It just make me dislike him more!
  
- lesbianoutsider says:
  
  May 15, 2012 at 8:05 am
  
  This is one ‘L’ who doesn’t need some ‘straight’ guy giving me his papal blessing on my existence.
  
- JAC says:
  
  May 15, 2012 at 1:28 pm
  
  LOL! Feel exactly the same way. I will not be used by this fraud.
  
  - lesbianoutsider says:
    
    May 15, 2012 at 11:11 pm
    
    Fraud is right. He would sells us down the tubes if it served his purpose.
    
erins1911 says:

May 14, 2012 at 10:22 am

What I love best about this announcement is how Obama was “holding back” before announcing until the “appropriate” time, and his feigned frustration with Biden for pushing him to announce early. Seriously – wtf? Either you have a position or you don’t. If, as he says, he has evolved to a more evolved consciousness about gay marriage that he thinks is to the benefit of society, why hold back? If he truly cares for the pain and trouble Malia and Sasha’s friends’ gay parents are experiencing, wouldn’t he let us know his very important and influential position right away to ease that suffering? What a douche.

- lesbianoutsider says:
  
  May 14, 2012 at 12:42 pm
  
  Douche–yep, that just about sums it up. An absolute political panderer.
  
Arthur Galvin says:

May 14, 2012 at 6:46 am

It is truly disgusting what people will do to get re elected. This is nothing more than a campaign trick which will ultimately be at our expense. Shameful!

- lesbianoutsider says:
  
  May 14, 2012 at 8:01 am
  
  And of course, the only issue that gay and lesbians should be focused on this year is the marriage thing. Nothing else to concern ourselves about. Economy, jobs, Middle East, energy, immigration, the outrageous deficit–these are all merely distractions for gay America. Pathetic that too many queers think exactly this way.