Holy Hallelujah! Barack Obama, President of the United States of America, has come out in support of gay marriage! Oh ring out, ye church bells of Cafeteria Christianity! Sing loudly, ye true believers of homosexual heaven right here on earth!
Clang your pots and pans, clap your happy hands, jump for justified joy! For behold, Obama’s evolving epiphany has given us eternal legitimacy! Verily I say unto thee, now we are normal, normal I say! Cast aside any lingering doubts or fretful fears, for the Chosen One has deigned to grace the LGBTQ hodgepodge of lettered alternative lifestyle hangers-on with his guileful proclamation of politicized approval.
So in honor of this momentous non-occasion, let us celebrate with a timely outburst of semi-sacred song. For it ain’t every day that self-involved gays get to sell themselves so very dirt cheaply.
A not so Holy Hallelujah—because one silly spoof deserves another.