Women Banned from Touching Phallic Produce

Cucumbers, bananas, and squash, oh my!  How can such nasty sexually suggestive veggies and fruits lay provocatively on display at local supermarkets where weak-minded women might think thoughts of a prurient nature when touching these penis imposters?  Mohammed, forbid!

Oh yes, it’s time for yet another misogynistic decree from yet another Islamic cleric and this one is aimed at preventing women from touching any fruit or vegetables that even remotely resemble a penis.  Supposedly, this latest authoritarian edict from another self-proclaimed high priest of Allah was issued by a backward boob living in Western Europe.  When it comes to Islam and the Muslim mentality, you just can’t make this stuff up.

So here’s a little tribute to provocative produce.  And of course, the first image that came into my mind was the Chiquita banana.  So much for the penis frame of reference.


And where would sexy fruit be today without Carmen Miranda.

German women devour cucumbers in public.  100 lashes!

And Monty Python wraps it up.

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About lesbianoutsider

Home of the PushBack Patriot
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4 Responses to Women Banned from Touching Phallic Produce

  1. Lori Heine says:

    Carmen Miranda is my favorite fertility goddess. But I must admit that I don’t look at her (or Chiquita Banana, either) and think “phallic.”

    Then again, I don’t look at MOST women and think “phallic” thoughts. I’m funny that way…

  2. That is actually one of my favorite Monty Python skits. I thought of it almost immediately when I read this story the first time.

    Clerics in Muslim countries have ‘smutty minds’ to quote Captain Malcolm Reynolds.

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