– if you majored in Post-Feminist, Post-Colonial, Post-American LGBTQ studies at Sarah Lawrence College.
– if you have Koch envy.
– if you think you’re entitled to all the products that corporations make while despising the corporations that make them.
– if you think Bush was a war criminal but Stalin was cool.
– if you are a gentle progressive soul who loves rainbows, unicorns, and non-violence but just can’t resist spitting on a young woman in a Coast Guard uniform.
– if you think Castro’s Cuba is a model of political tolerance and social advancement.
– if you have the urge to defecate in a public street.
– if you showed up to protest driving your parents BMW.
– if you showed up to protest using the cell phone your parents pay for.
– if you are a pacifist who wants to end all the wars oversees while instigating an uprising here at home.
– if you thought a Masters in Minority and Women’s Studies was an economically viable degree.
– if you think Keith Olbermann is an intellectual.
– if you think your wallet is empty because someone else’s is full.
– if you attended an Ivy League college and ‘learned’ that only white Europeans conquered or colonized others.
– if you know more about Mao than you do about Math.
– if even the homeless think you stink.
– if you blame the banks for your student loans instead of the greedy bastards at the universities.
– if you plan on voting for Obama again still believing your life will be better.
– if you’re a white kid with dreadlocks and a $150,000 student loan.
– if you think only rich people can be greedy.