Mark your calendars! The Pennsylvania Progressive Summit will be hosting their 2011 get together for all the Keystone state’s forward thinking revolutionary elite. To be held on January 22 and 23 in Pittsburgh, this intellectual extravaganza will feature the Reverend Jesse Jackson as the keynote speaker and will also include other illustrious luminaries such as Joe Sestak.
Under the tagline, Coming Together to build a Progressive future, this year’s summit has two premiere sponsors: The United Food and Commercial Workers Local 1776 and the Pennsylvania State Education Association. Other sponsors include the Service Employees International Union (SEIU), Democracy for America, Alliance for American Manufacturing, and Keystone Progress. A nice representative slice of the special interest pie.
The workshops and breakout sessions haven’t been posted yet on their website but from the list of sponsors and speakers, it’s pretty obvious what might be on tap. So here’s the Left-wing lineup of what you can expect at this year’s Lean Forward frolics:
Art of the Flim-Flam Man. Hear the personal testimony of the Reverend Jesse Jackson as he sketches his career from civil rights activist to professional race hustler. Learn the political and financial rewards to be gained from a skillful exploitation of victim politics. You too can be an activist entrepreneur!
How to Shakedown the Honky Businessman. This seminar, led by Reverend Jackson, is only open to People of Color looking to operate their own non-profit, rip-off-whitey home boy hustle.
Self-Flagellation for Self-Serving White Progressives. This will be a mandatory consciousness-raising workshop for all White activists. Participants will discover the joys of masochistic manipulation and the supercilious superiority to be found in White Guilt. Attendees are expected to bring their own whips.
School Vouchers and the Myth of Parental Choice. Setting the record straight on just who runs the educational industry in America, this nose-thumbing good time will feature a round robin of sneers and jeers directed at all those bumptious boobs who think that their little brats would be better served with parents positioned at the head of the class.
Taking Tenure to the Streets. Help stop the assault on this cleverly convoluted job security scam. Learn effective ways to fight the anti-bureaucratic backlash while getting paid by taxpayers for the progressive pleasure of screwing them over.
Bringing America to its Knees: A Union Goon’s Personal Memoir. Through the touching and tearful tales of one union organizer’s road to riches, we will share in the trials and tribulations of Big Labor’s hammer and sickle struggle to hamstring America.
Card Check: Our Legal Right to Crack Heads. Learn what you can do to ensure the passage of this vital piece of legislation. Remember, without the use of intimidation, unions are pretty much dead in the water.
The Chris Christie Death Wish Dinner Dance. The Summit will close with an evening of elegant dining and dancing. Come let your hair down with your comrades-in-arms as you enjoy this festive gala dedicated to the speedy demise of the Governor of New Jersey.
So don’t forget to register for the PA Progressive Summit’s timely life lessons for Lefties. Be there or be square!